Since kettlebells started to become known, a lot of people have tried to make a buck by passing themselves off as experts with various workouts and products. Like the overwhelming majority of weight loss and fitness products that are mass-marketed, these will overpromise and underdeliver. They are generally little more than aerobics with handweights. They may have some value for what they are, but actual kettlebell workouts they are not.

Among the worst shams I have seen:

KettleWorx. Five pound kettlebell. Aerobics with a handweight, right here. Be wary of anything that promises a burn of “20 calories per minute.” NO ONE can tell you what your calorie burn will be for anything, ever! It depends on so many factors including, primarily, your level of fitness and your body composition. Sure SOMEBODY can do this workout and get a 20 calories per minute burn, but probably not you. “3X the results in 1/3 the time.” Please get your workout running away from flagrant advertising shams like this.

Nowhere can I find any certification information about KettleWorx instructor Ryan Shanahan, touted as “the global leader in kettlebell training.” There are three people who could unquestionably be called “global leaders” in kettlebell training and this guy isn’t one of them. Apparently, he’s a former hockey player.

Get even less benefit from Kettlenetics’ four-pound kettlebell. Instructor Michelle Khai calls herself the “chief science officer” for “Kettlebell Concepts”. The workout is described as “dance-inspired.” More aerobics with a hand weight but the “science officer” sham is an original touch! This product used to be a staple of infomercials but fortunately it has faded away, now marketed by Gaiam, a maker of yoga supplies. I like how the original price was $39.98 and now it’s on sale for $39.98. Such a deal!

So who is this “Kettlebell Concepts“? They are a certification organization but their primary focus appears to be to “provide complete implementation of separate, turn-key, independent profit centers for fitness facilities” and to sell kettlebells. Trainer certification includes a lot of instruction in business models. Reading through the various staff bios, no one has a background in Russian kettlebells. Strictly business over here. Knowledge of century-old kettlebell traditions and techniques, apparently absent.

Kettlebell Concepts can boast of two famous certification graduates! None other than Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper! Both Jillian and Bob have stuck their names on kettlebell products. They each also have infamous videos floating around the Internet. These are more than just kettlebell mistakes of technique. Try Google if you want to see them; I have seen them and they’re so downright humiliating I do not want to repost them.

Jillian’s video shows her doing a move she calls the “reach back swing.” It involves swinging the kettlebell between her legs, arching her back completely in the process bringing her head all the way down toward the floor. She IS in really good shape so that’s likely the only reason she survived without an injury. You might not be so lucky. This is truly horrific.

I’d think Bob’s custom move was pretty dangerous if it weren’t so downright hilarious. He puts his own personal spin on the revered Turkish Get Up by doing it completely the opposite of how it’s actually done. He starts from a standing position and works his way down to the floor, using the wrong arm/leg combination and looking down the whole time. Bob, it’s not the Turkish Lie Down.

Bob’s line of mutant kettlebells are available at Target. You may think you’ve stumbled into the handbag aisle; they look that stupid. Jillian has shilled for hers on QVC. They feature something called “an innovative rotating push up bar.” Um, what? I wouldn’t use them as door stops.

So who are the global leaders in kettlebell training? Next time!